I have a problem and maybe someone can help me. I dont exactly know how to say it, but I guess I'll just say it. Im having a hard time with jealousy and I've been asking God to take away my jealousy, but Its not gone- why not?
part of my problem is im jealous of the attention my youth pastor gives all the other students in the youth group, and the other part is im jealous of the attention my friends give to others but not me. The first, my youth pastors attention, is the hardest for me- you see, I know that he does not like me- and why not, i dont know- but ive seen the way he acts with other students and its not the way he acts with me. hes always asking others how their day is and whats happening in their life, but he never once asks me a thing, and he has this look of almost disgust on his face any time i ask him something. the other part of my problem, of friends attention, is also really hard for me to deal with- my friends are great- and i know they love me, but when im with some of them, i get this feeling that they dont want to be with me i dont know maybe im imagining it, but it seem so real. plus im jealous of the amount of time my friends spend with others- and i know that sounds snooty, bt i dont mean like i want to spend 24-7 with my friends and i dont expect them to want to spend that much time with me,but some time with them might be nice- i am almost always at home doing nothing and i know that they are out doing something without me, and its not like i dont try to get involved, ill call and ask if they want to do something, and they're always busy.up untill yeasterday, i hadnt seen a movie with a friend since febuary-
I know this has been a lot of rambling,and im sorry if you dont understand some of it, but i guess what i want to say is, just keep me in your prayers- that i wont harbor jealousy
Thanks
Michelle
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3 comments:
hey michelle.
jeolousy is not a nice thing to have, we've all been there, i certainly have, and i also have bn jelous of my friends and if they dont include u or watever, but like it ses in Romans 8v15, we have not received a spirit of fear but of sonship, wat that means is, sonship is acceptance from God, He accepts us and loves us and forgives us and never leaves us rite?u know that, but still y do we still seek acceptance from friends, and not just hold on to God?i do it all the time, i wonder these things and its hard it really is and u know that. Jesus ses that we must seek HIM with all our heart mind and strength, if we do that, He'll sort out all that other stf, put ur head up high! u hav overcome, u have the Holy spirit, God is Bigger than jelousy, Jesus has over come that and the world!dont feel bad about feeling jealous, its just sumin that u have to bring to the cross, tell Jesus how ur feeling, wats going down, He wants to listen and so do u. dont loose focus on the goal, the aim, y are we here? know God and let Him be known. ur friends will see change in u, they have already and they'll come 2 accept and respect u and it. love them thats all u gotta do, if they dont want 2 include u? fine thats fine, they not true friends to u anyways then. hebrews 13v1 read it believe it do it act it.
God Bles5
dan
Thanks for your comment dan- it really helped and made me think- i think im getting better about not being jeolous. i know it will rear its ugly head one of these days, but so far ive been ok
shelley-
I haven't been here in a while, and when i read your post i can totally relate to what that is. I've been through that so many times, and it's hard. I've noticed lately that we haven't been as "close" as i thought we were before? is some of this me? I really treasure our friendship, shelley. e-mail me.
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